Sexuality and Secrets

If Marcel Proust's Baron Charlus meets someone with the unpleasant familiarity of a godless, gossipy churchgoer, the nobleman always gives in before a wretch has finished reading his mess of embarrassment at Charlus's expense. If I were a bachelor, I would... says one of them.

"You certainly know better than me how to tease a few sailors."

Charlus reacts allergically to allusions of such indecency.Didier Eribon states strangely:

"The Baron can believe that he is not revealing anything about his vice, while his secret is known to everyone and exposes him to sarcasm (of the society)..."

Glass Hiding Place

Charlus feels protected by his discretion. Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick speaks of a "glass hiding place" and characterizes the research as a whole as a "spectacle of hiding." The work deals with the permanent inferiority in which Charlus represents his creator Proust and all other gays.

Ned also believes he is in a glass hiding place. Persephone can expose him at any time, while he has nothing to protect his position. Her sexual adventurousness is a guaranteed check. No matter what she does, it's okay... it's female empowerment.

The Art of Manifestation

Somewhere Samuel Beckett says something like this about the work of a colleague: "His premises are not as weak as his conclusions."

Isn't Ned in the position of a deviant in the 19th century? If he were wise, he would resort to renunciation and silence. In his fight with Persephone, he never reaches the healing power that originates in him, but takes its course in such a way that it reinforces the social affront. Just as Charlus turns his weapons against himself, so does Ned in his relationship with Persephone. He is like an object made to blow himself up. Every effort to reconcile sexuality with the social has negative effects in a minefield of insults.

Jean Genet surpasses all the theorists by summing up the essence of isolating shame:

"Not only does no tradition come to the aid of the ... (homosexual). None leaves him a system of standards ... his being is felt to be a reason to feel guilty."

You may have already noticed. we only quote Persephone's ebullient text messages. In the meantime, Ned's responses are rather reserved. For a few hours now, he has been burdened by the knowledge that Persephone can denounce him at any time.

Persephone suddenly knows the reason for Ned's crisis. He reveals himself to her in his caution. She has no use for caution. Persephone has long been obsessed with the resonance space that Ned offers her. She longs for his words, just as they came in the beginning, unfiltered, fearless, flooded with hormones.

"I place myself in your hand to calm you down," she writes at around 5 p.m. Both are in the same institute on different places. In half an hour they want to eat cheese sandwiches together. The owner of the cafeteria is famous for her cheese sandwiches and her cocoa. The students love Mrs. Schneider.

"I swear that I will honor you," she adds.

Let's play, Persephone begs in her thoughts, buoyed by her expectations. Ned immediately bites again. The answer comes as promptly as his trusting:

"And what if I want to nail you from behind in your wet cunt on the altar?"

Persephone replies contented:

"Then you'll do it just as, and I will remember it when I'm a carline and no one wants to do that to me anymore."

She writes that, but she has something else in mind. Persephone wants an iconographic situation in which Ned is available to her for a long time without becoming mechanical in fatigue.

Persephone's first bend over in a manifested space

While she is thinking about how best to get Ned in line with her, her desire is driving her up the wall again. She retreats to a musty, dusty room in the dead wing of the castle-like college. Persephone jams the door handle with a chair. Others have had ideas before her in this refugium. Canned food is rotting. It stinks out of a torn open fish tin. The fungus in the walls is giving off fumes. Mold is rampant in every corner. A half-blind mirror leans against a wall. Persephone thinks of a line by Joyce... "the broken mirror of a maid" seemed to the poet to be the signature of his homeland, Ireland. Insect mummies lie in spider webs. Persephone discovers woven sarcophagi; works of art from nature. She slips out of her jeans and pulls her panties down to her knees. She supports herself on an antique desk and bends forward. She forbids herself from touching herself. Instead, she strives for a complete manifestation. She succeeds for the first time. Persephone experiences a launch in the junk room. She is not just playing with a thought. She's not just giving space to your imagination. The thought creates a second reality in which the subject believes she/he can experience everything that is possible for humans. The manifested space looks like the real one. Here Persephone can allow Ned to take her in the usual way, because she can drive him like a car. Persephone cums eruptively and stays hot without a second of tension easing. What man can cope with such omnipotence?

Now Persephone knows exactly what she needs from Cole. This is where the first circle closes. See the first chapter.

"But you're going to nail me differently than you originally imagined in your own runaway thoughts. It won't be your cock that penetrates me, but your fingers. After your eyes and your fingers have had all of me, you will leave without having achieved anything."